The conflict between Barb and my grandma has just gotten to the point where there are no words exchanged between the two of them and they each have resolvable issues to bring to the table but without talking about anything nothing gets solved.
My grandma has cats. Some of them are kinda sickly. They jump on the counter and on the table and this bothers Barb. Grosses her out because they tend to get kitty litter stuck to them and then that litter gets deposited on the kitchen surfaces. Some of them are vomity sometimes. My grandma doesn't always see this. They dig the woodwork and my grandma doesn't always stop them and in some places it's down to the drywall. It'll require some real work when it comes time to fix it.
Barb spends a long time each day cleaning up after them. She no longer wants to do this. The only solution she has come to is to put them all outside all the time. Not a good idea for several reasons. They've never lived that way and most of them are old, it's still really cold outside, it will absolutely crush my grandma, who loves them like her babies.
She is angry at Barb for an incident that happened a while back and Barb yelled at her (which was probably not the wrong thing to do, but at the same time, I'm sure it wasn't out of nowhere) and, in my grandma's interpretation, disrespected her, looked at her with utter contempt, and like she was the scum of the earth.
She thinks that Barb hates her and that she's being the way she's being to punish her and she has no idea what she did to make Barb feel the way she feels.
Barb thinks my grandma hates her and that she's being the way she's being to punish her and has no idea what she did to make my grandma feels the way she feels.
They are literally saying almost the exact same words to me about each other.
Living in such close quarters and having some pretty serious conflicts going on... they really need to get to a point where they're on speaking terms. But this can only come if my grandma is willing to talk to Barb. And she's not. Barb is. So there's that, at least.
I don't know what to do. I am going to help with the cleaning. I'm going to try to find a different home for one of the kitties, since she would be very adoptable.
The one that Barb has some of the most problem with is Billy. Who is so sweet and so pitiful. He's getting kinda old. And he has long hair which has totally matted. He is missing most of his teeth and I think he finds it hard to eat. He's incredibly bony and thin. And he gets kitty litter stuck to him and tracks it around the house. But he is just the sweetest most gentle, darling cat. I love him. And it makes me sad that he's not doing well. He doesn't seem unhappy, or like he feels badly. But I wonder if he does. You can see so obviously how much he adores my grandma. He looks up at her like there is just no one else in the world. Even if he were not part of this current conflict, I'd be worried about him. And wondering if there's anything to be done for him. He's already had a lot done in the past. Surgeries to remove a lot of the teeth. And my grandma is concerned about money.
Ugh. I just don't know what the right answer is. Her animal care is almost her whole life. Between the cats, the deer, the birds, the turkeys, the dogs, and in the warmer weather, the raccoons... They are all about as important to someone as something can possibly be.