Dear Biscuit,
Please stop trying to sleep on my head.
Dear Biscuit,
Please don't lick the shower. It's gross.
Dear Biscuit,
Please don't drink out of the toilet. That's gross too.
Dear Biscuit,
No, my hair elastics are not, in fact, cat toys bought just for you. And no, I will not give them to you for playing fetch!
Dear Muffin,
Why are you licking my bath robe? That's just weird!
Dear Muffin,
I know you know your name! Stop ignoring me! I'll give you pettins! You like pettins!
blah blah blah. you see. I don't think I'd fit in. :)