~*Crushed*Glass*~ (crushedglass) wrote,

Thoughts and details of the day:

I worked. Ok. I was at work until 1. Got to my grandma's and made some lunch, then had a couple small cups of coffee drink from my mixes. Molly's appointment was at 3:30 so I got ready to take her at about 10 to 3. As I was getting Molly in the car, Barb arrived and she said she had corn. (for the deer) She said something like "I gotta stop doing this". I told her the deer would be pleased. She said something like "I'm to the point where I don't care about the deer. I don't care about the mourning doves. I don't care about the furnace. I just don't want to come here any more." That's not exact but I think close. And I think she also said one of these days she's going to lose it. Maybe today. And I said "let's hope not."

I wish I knew what's making her so unhappy. I do suspect some of it is that she goes largely because of a sense of obligation. I've been going because of the obligation, yes, but also because I love my grandma. But more than that, I *like* my grandma. And I want her to be happy. And I think it sucks to feel alone. To not have anyone to talk to, to listen to you. To just be alone with yourself, your thoughts, your cats, your chores. Unless someone decides to come visit or call. I don't want her to feel like that. So I may not always be interested in the things she's talking about or worrying about. Her paper usually arrives right around the time I get there and even if I tell her I've already seen it, she will talk to me about what she reads, sometimes even reading bits. I listen because it matters to her and *she* matters to me.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that genuinely *likes* her. I just want her to be happy. And I do all that I can to try to make her happy. Or less unhappy.

I had more to write but I gotta go. I'm at the coffee shop and Harry's on his way to our house to give me back my car. Temporarily. My brakes are partly fixed. And my alternator (er?) needs fixing (hopefully not replacing). More on that soon, I hope. Tomorrow if all goes well.

Also, here is a video of Mikale!

Tags: mikale, video

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