~*Crushed*Glass*~ (crushedglass) wrote,

saying goodbye to CK

Today was hard. It sucked, but it went as well as it could have. I went to my grandma's after I got out of work, changed out of my work clothes, had a little something to eat. While I was eating, CK noticed I was there and came out to the kitchen, looked up at me and meowed a little. I gave him a bowl of formula in case he wanted to eat but he just sniffed it a little but didn't drink any. I got stuff set up next to my grandma's arm chair - water, tissues, a book in case I decided to read for a bit - and then sat CK on a blanket on my lap. I petted him and he purred and when I rubbed his front feet he'd work his paws. He rearranged himself to be snuggled even closer to me and slept. I sat there holding him and cried. I watched reruns of 7th Heaven while I held him and petted him.

At 2:30 I put him in the cat carrier, blanket and all I just set it all in and he didn't object. He didn't try to jump out. I scratched his head and rubbed under his chin and he purred. I carried him out to the car, trying to bounce him about as little as possible and he still didn't really try moving around. For the most part he just lay there and purred when I'd rub him under his chin, which I did the whole drive there. He only tried to get up once. He stood but I rubbed his head and chin and got him to settle back down. When I walked in the office a man held the door for me. He looked at CK in the carrier and seemed pleased to see him. He must have liked cats. He or the woman he was with asked what was wrong with him and I didn't tell them why he was there. I just said he was old. I started crying when I talked to the girl at the desk.

I had to take him out of the carrier separate from the blanket when I got him in the room. He wasn't coming out the same way he went in. But when I picked him up he just rested against my chest and purred, happy to be held. I set him on the blanket and did some more petting on his head and chin. He struggled a little when his arm was shaved but settled down again. The vet tech and assistant brought in the shot and I didn't get to really pet him while they did it. The assistant did though, and he knew I was there. He had been looking at me and I talked to him. I don't know if he even know it wasn't me stroking his chin. He kept on purring until the end. It was fast but looked peaceful. He only struggled a tiny bit when she put the needle in his leg. But resumed his purring while he was stroked.

She put him in a bag and then in a box and wrapped it all in a blanket. She carried him out while I carried the carrier he had come in. They will send me a bill. When the vet tech asked Suzann at the counter if I should pay then she said something like God no, and waved me through. They're nice like that. At that stupid emergency place they make you sign things and pay before they do it. Here I just had to sign a card and that was it. I cried as I drove him home. My head had hurt since this morning, worsening throughout the day. On the drive it hurt terribly and I felt like I was going to throw up. When I got to my grandma's, after I put CK's box in the shed for later burial, I took two Excedrin and lay down in my grandma's room for a while. I think I must have slept some. When I got up, more than an hour had passed. We talked about CK and how it had all gone after I got up. Then my grandma went to lay down. She got up early today to wash her hair before her eye appointment. She was tired. I brought home another load of towels to wash and dry for her. My head still hurts.

03/27/05 CK

08/12/04 CK

04/15/08 CK
Tags: critter tales

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