~*Crushed*Glass*~ (crushedglass) wrote,

amusingly written vegetarian article


"Vegetarians give up meat for a variety of ethical, environmental, and
health reasons that are secondary to this essay's goal of increasing
brotherly understanding, so I'll mostly set them aside. Suffice it to
say that one day, I suddenly realized that I could never look a cow in
the eyes, press a knocking gun to her temple, and pull the trigger
without feeling I'd done something cruel and unnecessary. (Sure, if
it's kill the cow or starve, then say your prayers, my bovine
friend�but for now, it's not quite a mortal struggle to subsist on the
other five food groups.) I am well-aware that even telling you this
makes me seem like the kind of person who wants to break into your
house and liberate your pet hamster�that is, like a PETA activist. Most
vegetarians, though, would tell you that they appreciate the intentions
of groups like PETA but not the obnoxious tactics. It's like this:
We're all rooting for the same team, but they're the ones in face
paint, bellowing obscenities at the umpire and flipping over every car
with a Yankees bumper sticker. I have no designs on your Camry or your

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