June 22nd, 2012

bathtub spider

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Written throughout the day with my livescribe pen.

Today I woke up to my phone ringing at 5:40 am. It Was Harry and he left me a voicemail telling me that my grandma is back in the hospital. She couldn't breathe around 4 am. She was sleeping in the basement because it's cooler down there and woke up short of breath. She crawled up 2 sets of stairs because Harry couldn't hear her yelling for him. It took the ambulance 25 minutes to get there and I think both she and Harry were worried that she wasn't going to make it. I hate to think what would have happened if she had passed out before getting upstairs. I slept on and off until around 10ish? 11 ish? I know when I woke up, I was sweary because it was later than I wanted it to be. I'm so tired. I did get up to see her and stayed for an hour or so. She's mostly worried about the cats, as usual.
I imagine today is going to feel very long. I am so tired. I also have some training from 3.30 to 5. It will probably be boring
And good gravy, was it ever! So boring. But better than chatting I suppose.
My feet hurt. I'm wearing cute shoes but they are not comfortable to walk in at all. :( I decided to wear a dress today because it has been so hot. But it's a little cold in here. It sucks dressing for in here but still having to wear the same thing out there.
Had one of those crazy panic / dream / hallucinations that I used to get when I first got Muffin and Biscuit. Woke up around 4 am, which, incidentally, was when my grandma was having her problems, and I saw a huge spider dangling from the ceiling, silhouetted against the blind. Hate that. Takes me a bit to realize it's not real.
It happened with some regularity back when they started and only in that brief time when they were young and I was stressed and getting so little sleep. It has happened periodically since. But it's rare. It's always huge spiders. Dangling from the ceiling. Or in webs right over me. And it's so alarming. Because you see it. And it's so real. And then you fully wake up and slowly realize that it can't be real. Ugh. Awful.