~*Crushed*Glass*~ (crushedglass) wrote,
~*Crushed*Glass*~
crushedglass

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cramps and dreams

I'm feeling very crampy-ouchy and bleah. I just want someone to rub my tummy and my back and my head... but not all at the same time because that would mean the person had 3 hands and that would just be sort of creepy. It's nice to feel the hormones shifting. The past bunch of days I had slipped into the typical pre menstrual slump of bleah and whine and life is blah and pointless and I'm just going go be poor and fat forever.

Fortunately this does not last and it all seems to bleed out with the contents of my uterus (yum!). So now, though I'm feeling like ick, I also am feeling the beginnings of the take on (take over?) the world feelings that come next. Wee! perhaps tomorrow or later I'll actually feel up to doing so. Hormones make me into such a freak. Glad the monster that seems to like to jump out of me will go away again for a while.

Today I'm hearing the sound of the breeze, and the birds in the yard, and the bubbling of the fish tank... and I remember how much I love the sound and feeling of the wind. I feel like being out in the sunshine on a breezy day skipping or something. Except I might find that a little unpleasant right now.

I was having assorted mashed together dreams this morning. I wish I remembered better. There were all sorts of people who had no business being all together. We were in such an old looking place... part of it was a restaurant, and part of it was like some giant locker room, and some of it seemed like some sort of old castle yard with lots of stone and moss and pretty greenery. In one part I was sitting in the restaurant with Aaron and we weren't talking. I don't know why. He got up and left and I left before he came back. I saw Jeff (stupid bird killing marine Jeff) and turned toward someone who turned toward me at the same time... as though seeing him would spark something that I associated with this other person... it was like a natural moment that would happen... except that it wouldn't because there is no one I would look at in real life. Thinking about it now... I think the person I turned toward was *also* Jeff.. but in the dream they were separate people. No idea what that means.

In another part I was on these stones and a crumbling wall and ledge looking for tea with some boy I don't know and a few other people. He had all sorts of teas I had never heard of and some that seemed to be of the drug variety. He was excited to find those and was planning to keep them for later use. There was a girl playing with a cat... but it was Stephanie's cat and I was telling the girl to be careful with him. He seemed to be having a really god time but I knew he was delicate. The girl had a fishing pole with a cat toy on the end and instead of just throwing out the line she was throwing both line and cat... I scolded her a little about keeping care of him... and his age and the pin in his hip... she wasn't listening though.

In the last part I remember before waking, I was in the locker room type place that wasn't really. But it was huge with lots of community type showers and many many bathrooms. I must have had to pee for real. I know I needed to in the dream. And I couldn't find any that weren't gross. I found one that seemed a little less icky but then it changed and all over the seat was what looked like baby food. Carrots and peas. And I was af first trying to just wipe off the seat but more and more kept appearing. Like it would smear into more than had been there before. I was going to give up and look for another one and then I woke up.
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