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~*Crushed*Glass*~ - BartholoMEW is gone.
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BartholoMEW is gone.
I'm feeling so sad right now. And I'm stuck trying not to get all weepy at work.

He just declined so much in the last day. And I figured I would have to make plans to have him euthanized later today. I even left messages with the vet. But I couldn't skip work and I hated having to leave him so much. I just wanted to be there with him scratching his head and neck. He liked having me there and I hate that he had to be alone at the end.

I had a friend go check on him and he told me that he was gone. That he was stretched out and his eyes were closed, as though he fell asleep and didn't wake up.

I know that I gave him a better last 5 months than he would have had otherwise. He wouldn't have had *any* more time otherwise... But I feel so guilty that I didn't do more. Didn't do a better job. Didn't spend more time with him when I *was* home. :(

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hellomokona From: hellomokona Date: November 23rd, 2011 08:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Lots of love and hugs going your way, hang in there.

Regret is an ugly soul-sucking being :( It's hard but you can't feel guilty about not being "there". He passed peacefully and happy inside a loving home, on his own terms. And even when you're giving 110%, you would be upset that it wasn't 150% :) It's your nature. And who knows, if you would've gone a different route, he could've ended up stressed by the car ride or something else that you couldn't have foreseen and then would've been beating yourself up over.

I hear the same sort of things being spoken to me over and over, so I hope you can find some comfort in them :) We can't change what happened, we can only find peace in what good we did do, and look back at the happy memories!

you are in my thoughts *hugs*
psychokitten76 From: psychokitten76 Date: November 24th, 2011 05:16 am (UTC) (Link)
^ What she said!

Lots of love and hugs xoxox
weeweekittie From: weeweekittie Date: November 24th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're a good person. You did all that you could, and I'm sure he knew it. *hugs*
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